This time, I am not going to name the blog after a title or quote from something else. I am also not going to start it with a statement of the time (not sure) or day (know, but don't care). That all seems a bit ironic to me (which I have read lately some feel is a judgment-call), as I plan for this particular blog to be largely based on myself, what I'm doing now (well, in recent months), & its relationship to what I've done before.
Before any of you ask, the title I have given today's blog is my own abbreviation/acronym. It stands (in my mind, anyway) for "Venn-Ish Diagram Of Life".
Here's why...
I'm not positive about this [I'm still searching for an MRI-like test that would tell me what's in my brain, how it gets there, why it stays there, how-&-why I/it access(es) certain things at certain times, etc.], but I believe "Venn diagrams" are visual aids that involve 2 intersecting circles. (Admittedly, I am mainly recalling this from "Late Night With Seth Meyers" & "Big Bang Theory"... But I am the guy who gets many things on "Jeopardy" due to "Forbidden Broadway", "Leverage", WWE wrestling, & The Monkees.)
Anyhow, I now believe my life is less the circle Harry Chapin sang about (remember, I'm the guy that "follows" Monkee Micky Dolenz & pro wrestler/"Hardcore Legend" Mick Foley on Twitter), & more two circles (at least) that can be followed in several different directions at once...
It starts with the "Type 1 Diabetes" all-who-know-me-but-are-not-me have believed I have for over a decade. (Wishing I got a Pavlovian bit every time I said or typed that word.) Almost since diagnosis, I have tried to have something to look forward to that drives me to take my blood-sugar checks & my insulin shots. (A while back, this may've been the birth of my niece; However, some days, a decent rerun of "Leverage" will do it.) Just recently, I have tried to turn this thing on all occasions into what I have long referred-to only by its semi-secretive name, "The Platinum Project".
This "Project" is not anything the government need be worried about (like those involving Edward Snowden, who I watched last night on NBC News & read about previously in Rolling Stone), nor is it my autobiography (currently sitting un-updated due to aforementioned computer issues). Even so, it is close to the latter, in that the main character (it is a largely-fictional thing) is a writer (as I've long aimed to be), & the "Project" will cover a few of his efforts to write.
All I will say at this time is that my current outline starts with him reading another fictional account, & feeling he wasted his time in reading it. After (coincidentally) feeling this way myself when I finished reading a (fictional) book a few months back, I considered the new "project" making reference to that book specifically, thinking it would be easy writing for me, since I personally knew how the fictional person would feel after this exact experience. Fearing the perhaps-minute potential of a lawsuit, I later considered the idea of using one of my own prior-written works, thinking it may cause people to seek it out, & I will have worked my way into a publishing deal (albeit perhaps a small one).
While writing the script with this idea in mind recently, it hit me that no real people are likely to seek anything out if another person (real or fictional) expresses having had a negative experience with it. (Even if some did, as I myself have admittedly done in the past, that would not be the way to go about earning any sort of "publishing deal" or other positive result, especially not in this "day & age", where it seems there are an annually-increasing way to access written/recorded media without any financial loss/expenditure.)
Anyhow, I am now sitting here (right this second; Weather's improving even in Ohio, so am moving about somewhat), trying to work my way back to where I was when I was working on the "project" without use of myself that I now realize would perhaps be self-injurious, while simultaneously realizing it will make writing the "project" once again the comparatively-difficult task it originally was.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
The Circle With An "Ender" -- Blog Begun 5/23/14 @ 2:15 AM
For those of you who may not know (which I assume is an overwhelming percentage, though I also realize the vast majority don't care), it is now "a quarter after 2" in the morning on May 23, 2014. Three hours ago, it was still the 22nd of May. That's simple Math for many of you, & it probably matters little, if at all.
However, it means a lot to me, as I got an E-mail around 10:30 that night (when I read it; it was sent much earlier that morning) from a guy my "simple Math" estimates I have now known (& considered my "best friend") for a quarter-century.
Something many of you are also probably not aware about, & may be more-interested in, is the fact I am typing this on my personal computer, bought legally for me (by which I mean both it wasn't stolen & the purchase had to literally get OKed by local courts before it was made; read earlier blogs if you forgot/are unsure why). However, my "game plan" right now is to save this when it's finished on what I've been referring to as an "external hard drive", & post it online later today/tomorrow/oh, whatever... Friday via Mom's computer, which I have been borrowing yet again periodically.
The reason for that is my computer is (the "taskbar" tells me) unable to get online right now (or the last few weeks). I plan to send it in to the "Geek Squad" again soon to try & fix this, but that will be the 4th time I've given it to them, & I have barely owned this machine that many months.
One reason I am hesitant to give it to them is I believe I was overcharged in a few different ways the other times. Another is I am working on saving a lot of documents, programs, & media (videos, pictures, & music) via that aforementioned "external hard drive", & am in the process of organizing it so it will take-up less space on the drive when I do so.
One major part of this organization is compiling bands that are listed under different names, but (I believe) are the same exact people. [No joke: I recently combined the "Black Eyed Peas" sections spelled both with &/or without a hyphen in the first word(s), & only minutes ago combined "AC-DC" spelled with a hyphen &/or the slash I just-now used.]
One of the reasons I admit this is taking so long is I spend a lot of time searching for different songs on my Media Player, & listening to them. (That takes maybe 4 minutes, after which I do what I'm choosing to now call "Six Degrees of the Bacon Brothers", searching for similar titles, & listening to those songs, in a neverending list.)
I don't know why, but a few nights ago, I was feeling more religious than I have in a while, & simply searched the word, "Confession". (Maybe I was feeling the need for a religious observance between Mother's & Memorial Days.) As you might expect, the majority of my results were songs by Dashboard Confessional. Again for a reason I'm unsure of, I ended-up listening to a song called, "Ender Will Save Us All".
I admit that this very second, I'm not positive who "Ender" is, or if it's even a person, thing, or maybe some sort of machine. ("Final Jeopardy!" tonight got me thinking about Kubrick & "Artificial Intelligence".) I seem to recall reading someplace it was the middle name of lead-singer/songwriter Chris Carrabba, but can't be sure of that at the moment.
"SPOILER ALERT!": The song, while great, never tells you who or what (if in fact anything at all) "Ender" is, nor how it/they "Will Save Us All".
Regardless, I have spent the past few days (including hours all over my alarm clock, or the one on my digital-cable box, or the one on this PC) listening to that song, watching my favorite episode of the long-cancelled "Sports Night" (which I did at 1:30 this morning, with my "Complete Series" DVD-set well within reach, part of me wondering why I don't see any pronunciation mark at the end of Peter Krause's name in the credits, as I believe there should be the way people pronounce it on TV these days), & having a meal with Mom at the local (& self-proclaimed "Original") Hot Dog Shoppe, recalling the days I spent debating becoming a part of the Facebook Group I read about dedicated to that place. (I forget my final decision; Let me know if you find me in it!)
Why am I doing all this?! Because I recently-learned getting rid of the "legal guardian" who was involved in the original purchase of this machine is a much-longer & more-complicated task than I originally imagined. I'm quite-well-aware I could stop doing this work if I were to, say, stop taking my Lantus or the roughly-2 pills I take each night (about an-hour-and-a-half ago), thereby reconnecting me with the "LG". However, if I wanted that, I never would have begun the work to disconnect us 4 months ago, which my immediate family is well-aware was all begun due to my choice & (thus far, largely) my individual action.
--Blog Complete 5/23/14 @ 2:49 AM
However, it means a lot to me, as I got an E-mail around 10:30 that night (when I read it; it was sent much earlier that morning) from a guy my "simple Math" estimates I have now known (& considered my "best friend") for a quarter-century.
Something many of you are also probably not aware about, & may be more-interested in, is the fact I am typing this on my personal computer, bought legally for me (by which I mean both it wasn't stolen & the purchase had to literally get OKed by local courts before it was made; read earlier blogs if you forgot/are unsure why). However, my "game plan" right now is to save this when it's finished on what I've been referring to as an "external hard drive", & post it online later today/tomorrow/oh, whatever... Friday via Mom's computer, which I have been borrowing yet again periodically.
The reason for that is my computer is (the "taskbar" tells me) unable to get online right now (or the last few weeks). I plan to send it in to the "Geek Squad" again soon to try & fix this, but that will be the 4th time I've given it to them, & I have barely owned this machine that many months.
One reason I am hesitant to give it to them is I believe I was overcharged in a few different ways the other times. Another is I am working on saving a lot of documents, programs, & media (videos, pictures, & music) via that aforementioned "external hard drive", & am in the process of organizing it so it will take-up less space on the drive when I do so.
One major part of this organization is compiling bands that are listed under different names, but (I believe) are the same exact people. [No joke: I recently combined the "Black Eyed Peas" sections spelled both with &/or without a hyphen in the first word(s), & only minutes ago combined "AC-DC" spelled with a hyphen &/or the slash I just-now used.]
One of the reasons I admit this is taking so long is I spend a lot of time searching for different songs on my Media Player, & listening to them. (That takes maybe 4 minutes, after which I do what I'm choosing to now call "Six Degrees of the Bacon Brothers", searching for similar titles, & listening to those songs, in a neverending list.)
I don't know why, but a few nights ago, I was feeling more religious than I have in a while, & simply searched the word, "Confession". (Maybe I was feeling the need for a religious observance between Mother's & Memorial Days.) As you might expect, the majority of my results were songs by Dashboard Confessional. Again for a reason I'm unsure of, I ended-up listening to a song called, "Ender Will Save Us All".
I admit that this very second, I'm not positive who "Ender" is, or if it's even a person, thing, or maybe some sort of machine. ("Final Jeopardy!" tonight got me thinking about Kubrick & "Artificial Intelligence".) I seem to recall reading someplace it was the middle name of lead-singer/songwriter Chris Carrabba, but can't be sure of that at the moment.
"SPOILER ALERT!": The song, while great, never tells you who or what (if in fact anything at all) "Ender" is, nor how it/they "Will Save Us All".
Regardless, I have spent the past few days (including hours all over my alarm clock, or the one on my digital-cable box, or the one on this PC) listening to that song, watching my favorite episode of the long-cancelled "Sports Night" (which I did at 1:30 this morning, with my "Complete Series" DVD-set well within reach, part of me wondering why I don't see any pronunciation mark at the end of Peter Krause's name in the credits, as I believe there should be the way people pronounce it on TV these days), & having a meal with Mom at the local (& self-proclaimed "Original") Hot Dog Shoppe, recalling the days I spent debating becoming a part of the Facebook Group I read about dedicated to that place. (I forget my final decision; Let me know if you find me in it!)
Why am I doing all this?! Because I recently-learned getting rid of the "legal guardian" who was involved in the original purchase of this machine is a much-longer & more-complicated task than I originally imagined. I'm quite-well-aware I could stop doing this work if I were to, say, stop taking my Lantus or the roughly-2 pills I take each night (about an-hour-and-a-half ago), thereby reconnecting me with the "LG". However, if I wanted that, I never would have begun the work to disconnect us 4 months ago, which my immediate family is well-aware was all begun due to my choice & (thus far, largely) my individual action.
--Blog Complete 5/23/14 @ 2:49 AM
Friday, May 16, 2014
"'The Unbearable Lightness Of' Nothingness" -- New Blog Begun 5-16-2014 @ 1:42 AM
Well, first, I'll do what feels like absolving myself a bit by admitting I'm tech-stealing the title again. I'm not exactly sure that's what the words are, but lately, I've thought so... Regardless, they're the soundalikes that work the best for my usage. [I know I've previously confessed to loving the use of "trick titles", & considering it for if-&-when I ever release any non-soundtrack album of songs,... But man, if I didn't regret all that about 5 minutes ago when I was searching the "Free Movies On-Demand" Channel! It's like your parents' "One day, you'll have kids, &..." speech for the "by-choice bachelors"!! (That's what I've taken to calling myself lately, & any that may exist like me.)]
Anyhow, about 12 hours ago, I was hand-writing a note to my best friend, letting him know all the things that have happened in the roughly-5-months between his birthday & mine. I've had a lot of physical pains, but I didn't mention them, as my belief is the reason I've had & survived such a large quantity is they each lasted for shorter amounts of time than it took me to write the note.
Therefore, at the top of my list was removing the "legal guardian" I had over the previous year. If anyone had been able to confirm for me, say, 10 months ago that I'd be totally free of it now (not entirely-finished with it all, but I took money from the ATM with my debit card this afternoon, & I've got a CD by one of my favorite bands that I haven't found available in town on its way here from Amazon, so good enough for me), I would've probably laughed, but eventually celebrated.
That all said ("wrote", if you wanna "get tech"), as I mentioned in the note to my friend, that's not really such a hot thing. As that Janis Joplin song says (my cousin would probably laugh to know I still remember hearing her "go nuts on it"), "Freedom's just another word for..." something else, & it's worthless, but free. Sorry, but who-knows-how-many years later, I gotta add somethin' to that. (Perhaps why my sister went through some time of preferring Scott Joplin, whereas I spent part of Thursday evening with Josh Joplin in my head.) If something were worthless-but-free, I'd be cool with that. (As I told Ma & my Aunt Wednesday night, I've long lived by the Dave-Matthews-Band-song-title of "Pay For What You Get".) But as I've lived my own life the past few weeks since that legal separation (which has included online interaction with people who seem to hold a mutual dislike for me, & others that have actually said they agreed with my opinions &/or liked my suggestions on things), I've learned that I've gone from not working a minute in my life (at your average paying job) to doing a ton of work, knowing all the while I'm not going to make any more money in total than I did 36 months ago, another time that I had no job, but one during which I also had no nieces. (As I told my brother-in-law this past Mother's Day, "Nobody who's seen me w/them will doubt I LOVE your kids.")
On my way out of this apartment a few afternoons ago, I told my Mom (also my driver that time, though she by-choice stayed in the car at our destination) that if I had a choice between being a Tony-winning, famous, published millionaire writer & being dead, that second, I would've chosen the latter. That day, I was on my way to a doctor's appointment to discuss a problem he'd already improved once, but which had since-then returned. At that appointment, he gave me prescriptions & instructions I have followed (the latter; the former would leave me stuck on the table), & I think the problem will leave again... So why did I find myself 24 hours later giving myself the same hypothetical choices, & still choosing the latter?!
Anyhow, about 12 hours ago, I was hand-writing a note to my best friend, letting him know all the things that have happened in the roughly-5-months between his birthday & mine. I've had a lot of physical pains, but I didn't mention them, as my belief is the reason I've had & survived such a large quantity is they each lasted for shorter amounts of time than it took me to write the note.
Therefore, at the top of my list was removing the "legal guardian" I had over the previous year. If anyone had been able to confirm for me, say, 10 months ago that I'd be totally free of it now (not entirely-finished with it all, but I took money from the ATM with my debit card this afternoon, & I've got a CD by one of my favorite bands that I haven't found available in town on its way here from Amazon, so good enough for me), I would've probably laughed, but eventually celebrated.
That all said ("wrote", if you wanna "get tech"), as I mentioned in the note to my friend, that's not really such a hot thing. As that Janis Joplin song says (my cousin would probably laugh to know I still remember hearing her "go nuts on it"), "Freedom's just another word for..." something else, & it's worthless, but free. Sorry, but who-knows-how-many years later, I gotta add somethin' to that. (Perhaps why my sister went through some time of preferring Scott Joplin, whereas I spent part of Thursday evening with Josh Joplin in my head.) If something were worthless-but-free, I'd be cool with that. (As I told Ma & my Aunt Wednesday night, I've long lived by the Dave-Matthews-Band-song-title of "Pay For What You Get".) But as I've lived my own life the past few weeks since that legal separation (which has included online interaction with people who seem to hold a mutual dislike for me, & others that have actually said they agreed with my opinions &/or liked my suggestions on things), I've learned that I've gone from not working a minute in my life (at your average paying job) to doing a ton of work, knowing all the while I'm not going to make any more money in total than I did 36 months ago, another time that I had no job, but one during which I also had no nieces. (As I told my brother-in-law this past Mother's Day, "Nobody who's seen me w/them will doubt I LOVE your kids.")
On my way out of this apartment a few afternoons ago, I told my Mom (also my driver that time, though she by-choice stayed in the car at our destination) that if I had a choice between being a Tony-winning, famous, published millionaire writer & being dead, that second, I would've chosen the latter. That day, I was on my way to a doctor's appointment to discuss a problem he'd already improved once, but which had since-then returned. At that appointment, he gave me prescriptions & instructions I have followed (the latter; the former would leave me stuck on the table), & I think the problem will leave again... So why did I find myself 24 hours later giving myself the same hypothetical choices, & still choosing the latter?!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
"The BIG Choice"
Well, I'm not positive about this... (I think I said it before), ... Anyway, I'm not sure I've posted it on this particular "URL" (wasn't that Jason Lee's name on some show once?!), but I honestly do love
what I've long referred to as "trick titles". When I write things
(blogs, anyway), I spend most of my time either stealing titles from TV
shows, songs, & movies; Or using titles that are tricks on famous
titles. (Something like "Old Man & The See," though I don't think
I've ever actually used that one... Maybe if Dad gets us lost on the way
to Pittsburgh later this year, I can type that one if-&-when I find
my way back.)
Anyway, continuing on this honesty kick (I usually do, though I also create the occasional stories to tell friends & family, because I suspect they know the actual truth & what's total crap), I must admit I meant to write this blog a few other previous times. (One word not required in that: I didn't mean to write it at all later! Well, maybe I did... But if I mean to then, I probably will!) I actually gave it a heck of a shot about 3 days ago, but was unable to post it due to some problems I had with a few Websites I tried to include links to. [I'm still curious how many reader(s) my blog get(s), which WordPress doesn't want to tell me, but I try to increase that number by including links to a million various things in each one.]
Anyhow, just closing that up, the title on Sunday (& for many days before that) was going to be something like, "Early In The Morning, Late In The Game". The idea there is I've been up a ton lately early in the day. (Seriously! About the time my Dad goes to work, & the ERs close-up & defer patients to the front doors of the hospital... Or so I think, anyway). I would then have explained that I've been doing that largely because I'm tired (clearly) & also because I have one day coming up soon that the time I can sleep is not at all up to me, so I figured it was smart to enjoy that freedom. [No joke; I've spoken & written many times about changing the American Bill of Rights; No problems with the rights it gives me & other Americans (natural-born citizens like me, or naturalized citizens like Craig Ferguson); But I think most citizens focus too much on a few ways to use a few (free speech to state opinions on Websites, etc.), & not enough on some rights, or some other ways to use them.]
Regardless, getting back to the "BIG" deal, let me write now that the title this time is a choice on my part, but only barely, & the time I'm posting this isn't my choice at all... The major time I won't be able to sleep at all is coming up tomorrow afternoon, & a major choice will be made then (or due to what happens then) that will certainly affect my life, if not the lives of much of my family, much of the county, state, & perhaps even the nation.
I promise you all: I'm dead-serious about this decision & its results. Don't believe me?! Allow me to explain.
In July of 2000 (I promise I'll get to tomorrow), I was in the cast of a musical at a local theatre. (No time to Google right now, but I've got programs & newspaper articles within this room that prove it.) It was a show few if any in the cast had been aware of for more than a few weeks. A man who was a professor at that college (it was a college's "Summer Stock"), as well as a member of the cast, explained to most of us that the better-known shows (such as "Guys & Dolls", which they had done the previous Summer) cost more to be able to put on. Then & there, some 17-year-old guy in the cast told himself he'd write a show, they could work-out a deal to get the rights cheaply, & the venue would also get the big announcement this "guy" believed any "world premiere" is.
Almost a year later, this same guy was well on his way to completing the show. Unfortunately, he had an unfortunate mishap at a doctor's appointment, where that doctor (since out of practice) led him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic. Almost-immediately, this patient still remembers that his relationship with many people (friends, family, & acquaintances) he'd known for years changed: He was no longer known to them by his first & last name, but as "the diabetic", name unimportant. To this minute, he also continues to deny his Diabetes diagnosis (by a man who is, as aforementioned, no longer a Doctor), but takes his insulin anyway; Refusing seems to make people yell at him &, while he admits to hearing issues, that's the only reason you want people screaming at you.
In late 2011, he stopped taking his insulin, since he (for about the millionth time) felt it was pointless to take medication for a disease he claims to be positive he does not have. (As he states it, the opposite is the popular opinion, but none of the people believing he is Diabetic have ever proven it, & he remains 100% sure they never will, as it has never been true.) He ended up in the hospital. During this particular stay, a doctor he has never met (then or any time in his life to this day) filled-out an "expert evaluation" that used his Diabetes denial (aka "the truth") among other things to place him under the care of a so-called "legal guardian". (This man is also an attorney, though his new "ward" has yet to see a legal license, & has strong beliefs he feels can be proven the man has repeatedly used his claimed legal status & legal guardianship to steal money from his ward's account.)
Tomorrow at 2 PM (Eastern Standard Time, for those of you who get excited with that sort of stuff), a hearing will begin in the local courthouse near where this "ward" & "guardian" each live. The reason for this hearing (or so the "ward" has been told, though he doubts it, remaining admittedly "a conspiracy theorist of the highest order") is to discuss the potential ending of this "guardianship". This only came about due to A TON (cannot be accented enough) of work on the individual part of the "ward" (not the guardian, parents, or judges), including an appointment with a still-licensed-&-active doctor who the ward has seen twice this year alone, as well as several times over the past 3 years (at least; perhaps longer). This doctor filled-out another expert evaluation, suggesting the guardianship be ended.
The only things that need happen yet are the hearings & the decision itself. As already written here, the "ward" himself believes whatever person(s) will be making the decision have already done so, & decided against him, despite:
1] Having read the evaluation suggesting the guardianship's termination
2] A key reason for the guardianship being the denial of the Diabetes, which many in this country know has never been (& can't ever be) proven the ward actually has
3] A myriad of other reasons.
The other thing that should be stated, I (the "ward") feels, is the fact that my Mom will be with me at the hearing. She has said she won't say anything unless someone asks her to; However, feeling it would be better if neither of us reacted surprised at the other's statements (&/or we appeared to be on the same side, though I know this is not the case), I have told her a few of the statements I will make, & she has stated she is undoubtedly against them. (Lastly, it also cannot be accented enough the fact/point this is MY life we are discussing, not any of theirs, so none of them have a clue what living it is like, just as they have no clue what either list looks like, meaning those of the diseases I am/am-not currently living with... It honestly scares me that they are spending so much time & money concentrating on the as-yet-incurable disease they pretend I have that we all truly know I don't, they are missing one that can be just-as-fatal that I actually have.)
Anyway, continuing on this honesty kick (I usually do, though I also create the occasional stories to tell friends & family, because I suspect they know the actual truth & what's total crap), I must admit I meant to write this blog a few other previous times. (One word not required in that: I didn't mean to write it at all later! Well, maybe I did... But if I mean to then, I probably will!) I actually gave it a heck of a shot about 3 days ago, but was unable to post it due to some problems I had with a few Websites I tried to include links to. [I'm still curious how many reader(s) my blog get(s), which WordPress doesn't want to tell me, but I try to increase that number by including links to a million various things in each one.]
Anyhow, just closing that up, the title on Sunday (& for many days before that) was going to be something like, "Early In The Morning, Late In The Game". The idea there is I've been up a ton lately early in the day. (Seriously! About the time my Dad goes to work, & the ERs close-up & defer patients to the front doors of the hospital... Or so I think, anyway). I would then have explained that I've been doing that largely because I'm tired (clearly) & also because I have one day coming up soon that the time I can sleep is not at all up to me, so I figured it was smart to enjoy that freedom. [No joke; I've spoken & written many times about changing the American Bill of Rights; No problems with the rights it gives me & other Americans (natural-born citizens like me, or naturalized citizens like Craig Ferguson); But I think most citizens focus too much on a few ways to use a few (free speech to state opinions on Websites, etc.), & not enough on some rights, or some other ways to use them.]
Regardless, getting back to the "BIG" deal, let me write now that the title this time is a choice on my part, but only barely, & the time I'm posting this isn't my choice at all... The major time I won't be able to sleep at all is coming up tomorrow afternoon, & a major choice will be made then (or due to what happens then) that will certainly affect my life, if not the lives of much of my family, much of the county, state, & perhaps even the nation.
I promise you all: I'm dead-serious about this decision & its results. Don't believe me?! Allow me to explain.
In July of 2000 (I promise I'll get to tomorrow), I was in the cast of a musical at a local theatre. (No time to Google right now, but I've got programs & newspaper articles within this room that prove it.) It was a show few if any in the cast had been aware of for more than a few weeks. A man who was a professor at that college (it was a college's "Summer Stock"), as well as a member of the cast, explained to most of us that the better-known shows (such as "Guys & Dolls", which they had done the previous Summer) cost more to be able to put on. Then & there, some 17-year-old guy in the cast told himself he'd write a show, they could work-out a deal to get the rights cheaply, & the venue would also get the big announcement this "guy" believed any "world premiere" is.
Almost a year later, this same guy was well on his way to completing the show. Unfortunately, he had an unfortunate mishap at a doctor's appointment, where that doctor (since out of practice) led him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic. Almost-immediately, this patient still remembers that his relationship with many people (friends, family, & acquaintances) he'd known for years changed: He was no longer known to them by his first & last name, but as "the diabetic", name unimportant. To this minute, he also continues to deny his Diabetes diagnosis (by a man who is, as aforementioned, no longer a Doctor), but takes his insulin anyway; Refusing seems to make people yell at him &, while he admits to hearing issues, that's the only reason you want people screaming at you.
In late 2011, he stopped taking his insulin, since he (for about the millionth time) felt it was pointless to take medication for a disease he claims to be positive he does not have. (As he states it, the opposite is the popular opinion, but none of the people believing he is Diabetic have ever proven it, & he remains 100% sure they never will, as it has never been true.) He ended up in the hospital. During this particular stay, a doctor he has never met (then or any time in his life to this day) filled-out an "expert evaluation" that used his Diabetes denial (aka "the truth") among other things to place him under the care of a so-called "legal guardian". (This man is also an attorney, though his new "ward" has yet to see a legal license, & has strong beliefs he feels can be proven the man has repeatedly used his claimed legal status & legal guardianship to steal money from his ward's account.)
Tomorrow at 2 PM (Eastern Standard Time, for those of you who get excited with that sort of stuff), a hearing will begin in the local courthouse near where this "ward" & "guardian" each live. The reason for this hearing (or so the "ward" has been told, though he doubts it, remaining admittedly "a conspiracy theorist of the highest order") is to discuss the potential ending of this "guardianship". This only came about due to A TON (cannot be accented enough) of work on the individual part of the "ward" (not the guardian, parents, or judges), including an appointment with a still-licensed-&-active doctor who the ward has seen twice this year alone, as well as several times over the past 3 years (at least; perhaps longer). This doctor filled-out another expert evaluation, suggesting the guardianship be ended.
The only things that need happen yet are the hearings & the decision itself. As already written here, the "ward" himself believes whatever person(s) will be making the decision have already done so, & decided against him, despite:
1] Having read the evaluation suggesting the guardianship's termination
2] A key reason for the guardianship being the denial of the Diabetes, which many in this country know has never been (& can't ever be) proven the ward actually has
3] A myriad of other reasons.
The other thing that should be stated, I (the "ward") feels, is the fact that my Mom will be with me at the hearing. She has said she won't say anything unless someone asks her to; However, feeling it would be better if neither of us reacted surprised at the other's statements (&/or we appeared to be on the same side, though I know this is not the case), I have told her a few of the statements I will make, & she has stated she is undoubtedly against them. (Lastly, it also cannot be accented enough the fact/point this is MY life we are discussing, not any of theirs, so none of them have a clue what living it is like, just as they have no clue what either list looks like, meaning those of the diseases I am/am-not currently living with... It honestly scares me that they are spending so much time & money concentrating on the as-yet-incurable disease they pretend I have that we all truly know I don't, they are missing one that can be just-as-fatal that I actually have.)
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Living Vicariously Through Myself
So, the slowly-decreasing wrestling fan in me wants to give you what I/it feels is a VERY IMPORTANT 3-count of links:
1] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/07/march-goes-in-like-a-lion-goes-out-on-its-own-the-story-of-my-lost-time/
2] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/gilligans-cage/
3] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/whos-that-guy-and-other-questions-feel-free-to-submit-answers/
In case it's not flat-out obvious from the links themselves, those are all earlier blogs also written by & about me. Long story short, they are in sequential/chronological order, & tell you the basic story of me & my "guardian". In the title of the first one, I allude to me getting out of last month on my own. If you can't tell from how this one is going, that never happened... Technically. I can say, "never" because March is over, & I didn't end it on my own. However, when anyone in this world deals with me, they deal with whatever version of me I feel is right or the time/situation. That means if you're my Dad or either of my nephews, we'll probably have a decent laugh or two. If, however, you post your opinion in response to mine on some article online, & that post includes calling me a "nimrod", you may want to post your next response standing-up (if you get what I'm saying).
Just the other day, therefore, I called the Probate Court on the phone again, curious what (if any) progress had been made on my case. (True story: I was unable to get the phone number off the Website I linked to in a previous blog, do my PC once again being with the "Geek Squad". I called the number specifically-given in the phone book for "Guardianship". When I explained my situation, I was put on hold while she connected me to "the guardianship..." secretary/assistant. Who/What was she, then?!)
I talked to the next woman, who it seemed had just seen my name/case recently. She put me on hold for a much-shorter time, after which she told me my hearing (which, as previously expressed, I expect will bring the total end of this never-needed "guardianship") will be the 24th of this month, & also (contrary to what I posted previously about courts taking afternoons off) at 2 in the afternoon. On top of all that, I do have a doctor's appointment that same day, but it's before Noon, & appointments with that guy never take an Hour, so I'll be ready & out in plenty of time. (The only thing that gets me: She said I'd be getting mail on it "today or tomorrow", & it's been two days, during which I've gotten nothing. Is it OK to start to doubt her or be curious, or should I then be careful what I wish for?!)
Here's the thing, though: As I sit here, I'm fully-dressed. (Shoes don't matter indoors; Right?!) I'm sitting with my knees practically in my stomach, but sitting on the couch a few hours ago (still addicted to TV, even a few decade-old sitcom repeats), everything "from my ankles to me shunt" (near the top of my head) was hurting/causing me problems. I continue to stay away from the hospital (tomorrow will be day 450 if I counted right just now), & am well-aware sounding the least bit suicidal ("a danger to myself or others", to basically quote an old episode of "The Practice") will leave me attached to some "guardian" for at least another year...
... So what do I do if I'm in body-cast-levels of pain for the next 2 weeks?!
1] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/07/march-goes-in-like-a-lion-goes-out-on-its-own-the-story-of-my-lost-time/
2] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/gilligans-cage/
3] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/whos-that-guy-and-other-questions-feel-free-to-submit-answers/
In case it's not flat-out obvious from the links themselves, those are all earlier blogs also written by & about me. Long story short, they are in sequential/chronological order, & tell you the basic story of me & my "guardian". In the title of the first one, I allude to me getting out of last month on my own. If you can't tell from how this one is going, that never happened... Technically. I can say, "never" because March is over, & I didn't end it on my own. However, when anyone in this world deals with me, they deal with whatever version of me I feel is right or the time/situation. That means if you're my Dad or either of my nephews, we'll probably have a decent laugh or two. If, however, you post your opinion in response to mine on some article online, & that post includes calling me a "nimrod", you may want to post your next response standing-up (if you get what I'm saying).
Just the other day, therefore, I called the Probate Court on the phone again, curious what (if any) progress had been made on my case. (True story: I was unable to get the phone number off the Website I linked to in a previous blog, do my PC once again being with the "Geek Squad". I called the number specifically-given in the phone book for "Guardianship". When I explained my situation, I was put on hold while she connected me to "the guardianship..." secretary/assistant. Who/What was she, then?!)
I talked to the next woman, who it seemed had just seen my name/case recently. She put me on hold for a much-shorter time, after which she told me my hearing (which, as previously expressed, I expect will bring the total end of this never-needed "guardianship") will be the 24th of this month, & also (contrary to what I posted previously about courts taking afternoons off) at 2 in the afternoon. On top of all that, I do have a doctor's appointment that same day, but it's before Noon, & appointments with that guy never take an Hour, so I'll be ready & out in plenty of time. (The only thing that gets me: She said I'd be getting mail on it "today or tomorrow", & it's been two days, during which I've gotten nothing. Is it OK to start to doubt her or be curious, or should I then be careful what I wish for?!)
Here's the thing, though: As I sit here, I'm fully-dressed. (Shoes don't matter indoors; Right?!) I'm sitting with my knees practically in my stomach, but sitting on the couch a few hours ago (still addicted to TV, even a few decade-old sitcom repeats), everything "from my ankles to me shunt" (near the top of my head) was hurting/causing me problems. I continue to stay away from the hospital (tomorrow will be day 450 if I counted right just now), & am well-aware sounding the least bit suicidal ("a danger to myself or others", to basically quote an old episode of "The Practice") will leave me attached to some "guardian" for at least another year...
... So what do I do if I'm in body-cast-levels of pain for the next 2 weeks?!
Thursday, March 27, 2014
“Who’s That Guy?” And Other Questions (Feel Free To Submit Answers!!)
So, some things just don't change; There I go again, stealing titles
(though I also continue to question if it's "stealing" when I admit it
& give credit). This time, the title comes from a song from the
(perhaps-little-known) movie, "Grease 2". My sister (who played a major part in getting me into musicals in the first
place) might kill me for writing this, but I believe "Grease 2" to be
one of the honestly-rare sequels that is better than the original film.
(I say this within eyesight of my recently-purchased DVD of "Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret Of The Ooze".) The female lead is
Michelle Pfeiffer, certainly still famous for other (less-musical) work
she's done. Meanwhile, the male lead is a British guy who may largely be
unknown in the States. (If you need a musical connection, try the scene
here,
where his character is not seen, but mentioned; The female in most of
the scene is also not all that well-known, but one look & listen
will tell you which ex-"Idol" judge & now-&-forever Rock
Hall-of-Famer she's related to.)
I've actually got that film (& not "Grease 2") in my DVD collection. Regardless, the questions I truly have are not about any of the movies, their casts, or their crews, but myself. They are far-more-important questions [excuse me while I channel the announcers for soap operas &/or episodes of "Batman" (in which case I, personally, choose Val Kilmer over Christian Bale & most of the others)], having to do with my future, & if I should even have one.
I promise any & all readers that I will update you if the situation with my "legal" guardianship changes. (As I've said to my family many times, "I'll sign it in blood; That means nothing to me.") It hasn't. In fact, in 12 hours, it will be over a week since I gave the necessary paperwork (for my part of things, anyway, according to the courts themselves) to the secretary at the county's Probate Court, & she told me she'd "see that it gets there" (as I believe I wrote in the prior blog). Now, "see that it gets" where?! I got no clue. Gets to fill-in-the-blank by when?! Just as little clue. So who there can do what with it?! As I've said for a decade-plus, I'll tell you if & when I know.
That's just it, see. I'm admittedly a born skeptic. As I believe I blogged before, I live much of my life the same way I grew up thinking judges conducted their business: Show me proof, or the damage to your car doesn't exist. Play me a tape/DVD, or the conversation never happened. Should this site go South the same way my old blogs on a few different sites have, & in less than a month, I'll deny I ever wrote any of this. (A few of my past blogs are hand-written in various notebooks, but this one is being written literally "every word the second I think of it".) Therefore, as far as I know, that same secretary has the papers I gave her sitting on her desk right now. Have they moved from her right to left side?! Don't know or care. Are there more papers above or below it?! If so, they probably aren't about me, so same "deal-io". The fact is if I felt like going through that metal detector again, I might take a little walk downtown in about 10 hours, & prove to myself whether or not they're still on that desk.... Whether the answer is "Yes" or "No", at least then, I would know.
But the thing is this: Often, I live my life watching TV, equal parts "reality" & "scripted". ("Psych" series finale & live "After-Pshow" yesterday... "Inside The Actors Studio", "Suits", & "Money Talks" tonight.) Often, I will buy food (like the 2 boxes of pizza rolls yesterday) based on what I plan to watch while I eat them. Regardless, I count those shows often as much as I do Laker games when it comes to having something to look forward to. "Having something to look forward to" has been a major thing for me ever since I was diagnosed as any type of Diabetic (though I denied it soon after, & will literally until the second I die). Ironically, right this second, that may have an effect on when that second happens to be.
See, the first person ever named as my legal guardian told me 1-on-1 himself he believed when I got that aforementioned paperwork to that aforementioned person at the Courts, he bet they'd have a hearing, & "probably" terminate the guardianship. If & (I'm betting) when they do that, I will put it all over Twitter, my blogs, & half-a-dozen message boards when & where the party is. Considering I've never dated anyone, & don't plan on college, marriage, or kids, that may be the top moment of my adult life! But right now, I've said & done everything I was told to. I have a semi-confirmed decent idea what the results of that hearing will be, & a real-good idea what I'll wear & say there. The one bit of info that eludes me is when it will be. That is not for me to decide, & nothing I'm aware of I say or do will change whatever day or time it is set for, nor when that day/time is set. Until then, there's not a darn thing I can do, nor do I see a real reason for doing anything.
I've been "living improv" for over a decade. Even so, I have much of my autobiography saved on this computer. (Opening a Microsoft Word document with Wordpad gets a bunch of extra spaces, symbols, & stuff in a bunch of places in it.) I also printed-out some plans for my funeral I-don't-know-how-long ago, including what I should wear (clothes from high school still fit me, if they aren't too big on me now; Suspect I've lost weight!). Good thing, as this may be the last blog I post.
Thank you to all readers (if in fact this one has had any), & Goodbye.
I've actually got that film (& not "Grease 2") in my DVD collection. Regardless, the questions I truly have are not about any of the movies, their casts, or their crews, but myself. They are far-more-important questions [excuse me while I channel the announcers for soap operas &/or episodes of "Batman" (in which case I, personally, choose Val Kilmer over Christian Bale & most of the others)], having to do with my future, & if I should even have one.
I promise any & all readers that I will update you if the situation with my "legal" guardianship changes. (As I've said to my family many times, "I'll sign it in blood; That means nothing to me.") It hasn't. In fact, in 12 hours, it will be over a week since I gave the necessary paperwork (for my part of things, anyway, according to the courts themselves) to the secretary at the county's Probate Court, & she told me she'd "see that it gets there" (as I believe I wrote in the prior blog). Now, "see that it gets" where?! I got no clue. Gets to fill-in-the-blank by when?! Just as little clue. So who there can do what with it?! As I've said for a decade-plus, I'll tell you if & when I know.
That's just it, see. I'm admittedly a born skeptic. As I believe I blogged before, I live much of my life the same way I grew up thinking judges conducted their business: Show me proof, or the damage to your car doesn't exist. Play me a tape/DVD, or the conversation never happened. Should this site go South the same way my old blogs on a few different sites have, & in less than a month, I'll deny I ever wrote any of this. (A few of my past blogs are hand-written in various notebooks, but this one is being written literally "every word the second I think of it".) Therefore, as far as I know, that same secretary has the papers I gave her sitting on her desk right now. Have they moved from her right to left side?! Don't know or care. Are there more papers above or below it?! If so, they probably aren't about me, so same "deal-io". The fact is if I felt like going through that metal detector again, I might take a little walk downtown in about 10 hours, & prove to myself whether or not they're still on that desk.... Whether the answer is "Yes" or "No", at least then, I would know.
But the thing is this: Often, I live my life watching TV, equal parts "reality" & "scripted". ("Psych" series finale & live "After-Pshow" yesterday... "Inside The Actors Studio", "Suits", & "Money Talks" tonight.) Often, I will buy food (like the 2 boxes of pizza rolls yesterday) based on what I plan to watch while I eat them. Regardless, I count those shows often as much as I do Laker games when it comes to having something to look forward to. "Having something to look forward to" has been a major thing for me ever since I was diagnosed as any type of Diabetic (though I denied it soon after, & will literally until the second I die). Ironically, right this second, that may have an effect on when that second happens to be.
See, the first person ever named as my legal guardian told me 1-on-1 himself he believed when I got that aforementioned paperwork to that aforementioned person at the Courts, he bet they'd have a hearing, & "probably" terminate the guardianship. If & (I'm betting) when they do that, I will put it all over Twitter, my blogs, & half-a-dozen message boards when & where the party is. Considering I've never dated anyone, & don't plan on college, marriage, or kids, that may be the top moment of my adult life! But right now, I've said & done everything I was told to. I have a semi-confirmed decent idea what the results of that hearing will be, & a real-good idea what I'll wear & say there. The one bit of info that eludes me is when it will be. That is not for me to decide, & nothing I'm aware of I say or do will change whatever day or time it is set for, nor when that day/time is set. Until then, there's not a darn thing I can do, nor do I see a real reason for doing anything.
I've been "living improv" for over a decade. Even so, I have much of my autobiography saved on this computer. (Opening a Microsoft Word document with Wordpad gets a bunch of extra spaces, symbols, & stuff in a bunch of places in it.) I also printed-out some plans for my funeral I-don't-know-how-long ago, including what I should wear (clothes from high school still fit me, if they aren't too big on me now; Suspect I've lost weight!). Good thing, as this may be the last blog I post.
Thank you to all readers (if in fact this one has had any), & Goodbye.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Gilligan's Cage
While I do believe I'm genetically Irish on both sides (surely on
Mom's, have never been sure about Dad's), that title is not meant to be
any kind of curve on the song title, "Finnegan's Wake", though the mere thought of the song plays the title in my head in my Uncle Bill's voice. (Easy explanation: Here's
a YouTube video of him playing it with a band at a place within walking
distance of where I live. My Uncle's not listed as a member on the
group's main site, but he was one for a large majority of my life.)
Anyhow, I've never been much of a guy for St. Patrick's Day, which is to
say this blog's title refers to an actual cage used a few times on
"Gilligan's Island".
I've tried hard to keep my age out of these blogs, but suffice it to say I wasn't alive in the '60s. That said, I've told people many times I couldn't have lived back then. That has nothing to do with the drugs, JFK, or any of that; I read in a book a while back that "The Monkees" aired at the same exact time as "Gilligan's Island". I used to watch the American Fab Four on TV every weekend to the point my decades-younger nephew became a fan, but haven't found it airing in a while. Meanwhile, TVLand has been airing "Gilligan" seemingly forever on recent weeknights. This leads me to keep watching for a few of my favorite episodes. (One recent watch was "Don't Bug The Mosquitoes", a classic in my opinion.)
Anyway, a YouTube search now is showing me nothing... Suffice it to say that on a few different episodes, some/all of the regular cast(aways; see what I did there?!) got caught by the weekly visitor (like it was a Caribbean tourist spot or something!), who put them in some sort of prison that was really something made to look like bamboo, 90% of which was actually empty space.
Anyway (promise I'll get back to it), I've recently been thinking about my own legal history, & remember the first PG-13 movie I saw in theaters (waiting for the day I have to explain the meaning of that word to my younger relatives) was when I was 12. It was Jim Carrey's star-maker, "The Mask". One of my favorite parts to this day is when he is trying to get the dog to help him while he is imprisoned. (I'm about 50/50 with YouTube today.) The reason I am thinking about that scene with this blog is (as far as I understand/recall it) it was never much when the Gilligan folks were captured for an episode, but "Stanley"/Jim was supposed to be in an actual prison by the lead policeman (who I recall better now from an episode of "Leverage"). What gets me is that I think it would be worse to be in the Gilligan jail! You can barely see Jim's arms & eyes, & he can barely see the dog or the alley it's in... Whereas the castaways can see much of the island they've inhabited a while, but not touch much of it at all! I think that violates the Eighth Amendment! (That was around before "Gilligan"; Right?!)
Well, I didn't read any of my old blogs to myself before starting this one (I usually do), but suffice it to say the "guardianship" (the legal-jargon word for it) is OVER... "If you wanna get tech'." (That's when I switch from their words & phrases to mine.) The "general doctor" I've seen a few years agreed with Mom & I this morning that the whole thing doesn't need to continue anymore. When I got home, I called my sister (& the younger of my 2 nephews) with the news. She suggested I call the guardian & talk to him about it. I did so, & he told me I should drop the papers my doc filled-out & signed at the court(house). When I do that, he told me, they'll file them & have a hearing before they "will probably end the guardianship".
Most people who "follow" me on Twitter & things are probably waiting for me to post the date of the party, but I ain't gonna do that. Not that I don't like to celebrate these things (much as a person believed to be Diabetic can), but I refuse to do so until this whole thing is actually, completely finished.
Catch me up here: A doctor I've never honestly met filled-out an "expert evaluation" on me that led to me "getting" this guardian. A doctor I've seen regularly for years filled-out the same papers, this time saying it should be "terminated"... Yet I have to wait an unknown amount of time for that to happen?!
I considered going to the local bookstore today & buying a book I saw listed with a VERY-low price on their Website. I may not do that now, though; I'd be well within sight of the bank I've gone to for years, the same place they destroyed my last debit card & may be waiting for April's checks that may still come with my guardian's name printed on them.
I've tried hard to keep my age out of these blogs, but suffice it to say I wasn't alive in the '60s. That said, I've told people many times I couldn't have lived back then. That has nothing to do with the drugs, JFK, or any of that; I read in a book a while back that "The Monkees" aired at the same exact time as "Gilligan's Island". I used to watch the American Fab Four on TV every weekend to the point my decades-younger nephew became a fan, but haven't found it airing in a while. Meanwhile, TVLand has been airing "Gilligan" seemingly forever on recent weeknights. This leads me to keep watching for a few of my favorite episodes. (One recent watch was "Don't Bug The Mosquitoes", a classic in my opinion.)
Anyway, a YouTube search now is showing me nothing... Suffice it to say that on a few different episodes, some/all of the regular cast(aways; see what I did there?!) got caught by the weekly visitor (like it was a Caribbean tourist spot or something!), who put them in some sort of prison that was really something made to look like bamboo, 90% of which was actually empty space.
Anyway (promise I'll get back to it), I've recently been thinking about my own legal history, & remember the first PG-13 movie I saw in theaters (waiting for the day I have to explain the meaning of that word to my younger relatives) was when I was 12. It was Jim Carrey's star-maker, "The Mask". One of my favorite parts to this day is when he is trying to get the dog to help him while he is imprisoned. (I'm about 50/50 with YouTube today.) The reason I am thinking about that scene with this blog is (as far as I understand/recall it) it was never much when the Gilligan folks were captured for an episode, but "Stanley"/Jim was supposed to be in an actual prison by the lead policeman (who I recall better now from an episode of "Leverage"). What gets me is that I think it would be worse to be in the Gilligan jail! You can barely see Jim's arms & eyes, & he can barely see the dog or the alley it's in... Whereas the castaways can see much of the island they've inhabited a while, but not touch much of it at all! I think that violates the Eighth Amendment! (That was around before "Gilligan"; Right?!)
Well, I didn't read any of my old blogs to myself before starting this one (I usually do), but suffice it to say the "guardianship" (the legal-jargon word for it) is OVER... "If you wanna get tech'." (That's when I switch from their words & phrases to mine.) The "general doctor" I've seen a few years agreed with Mom & I this morning that the whole thing doesn't need to continue anymore. When I got home, I called my sister (& the younger of my 2 nephews) with the news. She suggested I call the guardian & talk to him about it. I did so, & he told me I should drop the papers my doc filled-out & signed at the court(house). When I do that, he told me, they'll file them & have a hearing before they "will probably end the guardianship".
Most people who "follow" me on Twitter & things are probably waiting for me to post the date of the party, but I ain't gonna do that. Not that I don't like to celebrate these things (much as a person believed to be Diabetic can), but I refuse to do so until this whole thing is actually, completely finished.
Catch me up here: A doctor I've never honestly met filled-out an "expert evaluation" on me that led to me "getting" this guardian. A doctor I've seen regularly for years filled-out the same papers, this time saying it should be "terminated"... Yet I have to wait an unknown amount of time for that to happen?!
I considered going to the local bookstore today & buying a book I saw listed with a VERY-low price on their Website. I may not do that now, though; I'd be well within sight of the bank I've gone to for years, the same place they destroyed my last debit card & may be waiting for April's checks that may still come with my guardian's name printed on them.
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