"The BIG Choice"

Well, I'm not positive about this... (I think I said it before), ... Anyway, I'm not sure I've posted it on this particular "URL" (wasn't that Jason Lee's name on some show once?!), but I honestly do love what I've long referred to as "trick titles". When I write things (blogs, anyway), I spend most of my time either stealing titles from TV shows, songs, & movies; Or using titles that are tricks on famous titles. (Something like "Old Man & The See," though I don't think I've ever actually used that one... Maybe if Dad gets us lost on the way to Pittsburgh later this year, I can type that one if-&-when I find my way back.)

Anyway, continuing on this honesty kick (I usually do, though I also create the occasional stories to tell friends & family, because I suspect they know the actual truth & what's total crap), I must admit I meant to write this blog a few other previous times. (One word not required in that: I didn't mean to write it at all later! Well, maybe I did... But if I mean to then, I probably will!) I actually gave it a heck of a shot about 3 days ago, but was unable to post it due to some problems I had with a few Websites I tried to include links to. [I'm still curious how many reader(s) my blog get(s), which WordPress doesn't want to tell me, but I try to increase that number by including links to a million various things in each one.]

Anyhow, just closing that up, the title on Sunday (& for many days before that) was going to be something like, "Early In The Morning, Late In The Game". The idea there is I've been up a ton lately early in the day. (Seriously! About the time my Dad goes to work, & the ERs close-up & defer patients to the front doors of the hospital... Or so I think, anyway). I would then have explained that I've been doing that largely because I'm tired (clearly) & also because I have one day coming up soon that the time I can sleep is not at all up to me, so I figured it was smart to enjoy that freedom. [No joke; I've spoken & written many times about changing the American Bill of Rights; No problems with the rights it gives me & other Americans (natural-born citizens like me, or naturalized citizens like Craig Ferguson); But I think most citizens focus too much on a few ways to use a few (free speech to state opinions on Websites, etc.), & not enough on some rights, or some other ways to use them.]

Regardless, getting back to the "BIG" deal, let me write now that the title this time is a choice on my part, but only barely, & the time I'm posting this isn't my choice at all... The major time I won't be able to sleep at all is coming up tomorrow afternoon, & a major choice will be made then (or due to what happens then) that will certainly affect my life, if not the lives of much of my family, much of the county, state, & perhaps even the nation.

I promise you all: I'm dead-serious about this decision & its results. Don't believe me?! Allow me to explain.

In July of 2000 (I promise I'll get to tomorrow), I was in the cast of a musical at a local theatre. (No time to Google right now, but I've got programs & newspaper articles within this room that prove it.) It was a show few if any in the cast had been aware of for more than a few weeks. A man who was a professor at that college (it was a college's "Summer Stock"), as well as a member of the cast, explained to most of us that the better-known shows (such as "Guys & Dolls", which they had done the previous Summer) cost more to be able to put on. Then & there, some 17-year-old guy in the cast told himself he'd write a show, they could work-out a deal to get the rights cheaply, & the venue would also get the big announcement this "guy" believed any "world premiere" is.

Almost a year later, this same guy was well on his way to completing the show. Unfortunately, he had an unfortunate mishap at a doctor's appointment, where that doctor (since out of practice) led him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic. Almost-immediately, this patient still remembers that his relationship with many people (friends, family, & acquaintances) he'd known for years changed: He was no longer known to them by his first & last name, but as "the diabetic", name unimportant. To this minute, he also continues to deny his Diabetes diagnosis (by a man who is, as aforementioned, no longer a Doctor), but takes his insulin anyway; Refusing seems to make people yell at him &, while he admits to hearing issues, that's the only reason you want people screaming at you.

In late 2011, he stopped taking his insulin, since he (for about the millionth time) felt it was pointless to take medication for a disease he claims to be positive he does not have. (As he states it, the opposite is the popular opinion, but none of the people believing he is Diabetic have ever proven it, & he remains 100% sure they never will, as it has never been true.) He ended up in the hospital. During this particular stay, a doctor he has never met (then or any time in his life to this day) filled-out an "expert evaluation" that used his Diabetes denial (aka "the truth") among other things to place him under the care of a so-called "legal guardian". (This man is also an attorney, though his new "ward" has yet to see a legal license, & has strong beliefs he feels can be proven the man has repeatedly used his claimed legal status & legal guardianship to steal money from his ward's account.)

Tomorrow at 2 PM (Eastern Standard Time, for those of you who get excited with that sort of stuff), a hearing will begin in the local courthouse near where this "ward" & "guardian" each live. The reason for this hearing (or so the "ward" has been told, though he doubts it, remaining admittedly "a conspiracy theorist of the highest order") is to discuss the potential ending of this "guardianship". This only came about due to A TON (cannot be accented enough) of work on the individual part of the "ward" (not the guardian, parents, or judges), including an appointment with a still-licensed-&-active doctor who the ward has seen twice this year alone, as well as several times over the past 3 years (at least; perhaps longer). This doctor filled-out another expert evaluation, suggesting the guardianship be ended.

The only things that need happen yet are the hearings & the decision itself. As already written here, the "ward" himself believes whatever person(s) will be making the decision have already done so, & decided against him, despite:

1] Having read the evaluation suggesting the guardianship's termination

2] A key reason for the guardianship being the denial of the Diabetes, which many in this country know has never been (& can't ever be) proven the ward actually has

3] A myriad of other reasons.

The other thing that should be stated, I (the "ward") feels, is the fact that my Mom will be with me at the hearing. She has said she won't say anything unless someone asks her to; However, feeling it would be better if neither of us reacted surprised at the other's statements (&/or we appeared to be on the same side, though I know this is not the case), I have told her a few of the statements I will make, & she has stated she is undoubtedly against them. (Lastly, it also cannot be accented enough the fact/point this is MY life we are discussing, not any of theirs, so none of them have a clue what living it is like, just as they have no clue what either list looks like, meaning those of the diseases I am/am-not currently living with... It honestly scares me that they are spending so much time & money concentrating on the as-yet-incurable disease they pretend I have that we all truly know I don't, they are missing one that can be just-as-fatal that I actually have.)

Living Vicariously Through Myself

So, the slowly-decreasing wrestling fan in me wants to give you what I/it feels is a VERY IMPORTANT 3-count of links:

1] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/07/march-goes-in-like-a-lion-goes-out-on-its-own-the-story-of-my-lost-time/

2] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/gilligans-cage/

3] http://blogenfarcement.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/whos-that-guy-and-other-questions-feel-free-to-submit-answers/

In case it's not flat-out obvious from the links themselves, those are all earlier blogs also written by & about me. Long story short, they are in sequential/chronological order, & tell you the basic story of me & my "guardian". In the title of the first one, I allude to me getting out of last month on my own. If you can't tell from how this one is going, that never happened... Technically. I can say, "never" because March is over, & I didn't end it on my own. However, when anyone in this world deals with me, they deal with whatever version of me I feel is right or the time/situation. That means if you're my Dad or either of my nephews, we'll probably have a decent laugh or two. If, however, you post your opinion in response to mine on some article online, & that post includes calling me a "nimrod", you may want to post your next response standing-up (if you get what I'm saying).

Just the other day, therefore, I called the Probate Court on the phone again, curious what (if any) progress had been made on my case. (True story: I was unable to get the phone number off the Website I linked to in a previous blog, do my PC once again being with the "Geek Squad". I called the number specifically-given in the phone book for "Guardianship". When I explained my situation, I was put on hold while she connected me to "the guardianship..." secretary/assistant. Who/What was she, then?!)

I talked to the next woman, who it seemed had just seen my name/case recently. She put me on hold for a much-shorter time, after which she told me my hearing (which, as previously expressed, I expect will bring the total end of this never-needed "guardianship") will be the 24th of this month, & also (contrary to what I posted previously about courts taking afternoons off) at 2 in the afternoon. On top of all that, I do have a doctor's appointment that same day, but it's before Noon, & appointments with that guy never take an Hour, so I'll be ready & out in plenty of time. (The only thing that gets me: She said I'd be getting mail on it "today or tomorrow", & it's been two days, during which I've gotten nothing. Is it OK to start to doubt her or be curious, or should I then be careful what I wish for?!)

Here's the thing, though: As I sit here, I'm fully-dressed. (Shoes don't matter indoors; Right?!) I'm sitting with my knees practically in my stomach, but sitting on the couch a few hours ago (still addicted to TV, even a few decade-old sitcom repeats), everything "from my ankles to me shunt" (near the top of my head) was hurting/causing me problems. I continue to stay away from the hospital (tomorrow will be day 450 if I counted right just now), & am well-aware sounding the least bit suicidal ("a danger to myself or others", to basically quote an old episode of "The Practice") will leave me attached to some "guardian" for at least another year...

... So what do I do if I'm in body-cast-levels of pain for the next 2 weeks?!

“Who’s That Guy?” And Other Questions (Feel Free To Submit Answers!!)

So, some things just don't change; There I go again, stealing titles (though I also continue to question if it's "stealing" when I admit it & give credit). This time, the title comes from a song from the (perhaps-little-known) movie, "Grease 2". My sister (who played a major part in getting me into musicals in the first place) might kill me for writing this, but I believe "Grease 2" to be one of the honestly-rare sequels that is better than the original film. (I say this within eyesight of my recently-purchased DVD of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret Of The Ooze".) The female lead is Michelle Pfeiffer, certainly still famous for other (less-musical) work she's done. Meanwhile, the male lead is a British guy who may largely be unknown in the States. (If you need a musical connection, try the scene here, where his character is not seen, but mentioned; The female in most of the scene is also not all that well-known, but one look & listen will tell you which ex-"Idol" judge & now-&-forever Rock Hall-of-Famer she's related to.)

I've actually got that film (& not "Grease 2") in my DVD collection. Regardless, the questions I truly have are not about any of the movies, their casts, or their crews, but myself. They are far-more-important questions [excuse me while I channel the announcers for soap operas &/or episodes of "Batman" (in which case I, personally, choose Val Kilmer over Christian Bale & most of the others)], having to do with my future, & if I should even have one.

I promise any & all readers that I will update you if the situation with my "legal" guardianship changes. (As I've said to my family many times, "I'll sign it in blood; That means nothing to me.") It hasn't. In fact, in 12 hours, it will be over a week since I gave the necessary paperwork (for my part of things, anyway, according to the courts themselves) to the secretary at the county's Probate Court, & she told me she'd "see that it gets there" (as I believe I wrote in the prior blog). Now, "see that it gets" where?! I got no clue. Gets to fill-in-the-blank by when?! Just as little clue. So who there can do what with it?! As I've said for a decade-plus, I'll tell you if & when I know.

That's just it, see. I'm admittedly a born skeptic. As I believe I blogged before, I live much of my life the same way I grew up thinking judges conducted their business: Show me proof, or the damage to your car doesn't exist. Play me a tape/DVD, or the conversation never happened. Should this site go South the same way my old blogs on a few different sites have, & in less than a month, I'll deny I ever wrote any of this. (A few of my past blogs are hand-written in various notebooks, but this one is being written literally "every word the second I think of it".) Therefore, as far as I know, that same secretary has the papers I gave her sitting on her desk right now. Have they moved from her right to left side?! Don't know or care. Are there more papers above or below it?! If so, they probably aren't about me, so same "deal-io". The fact is if I felt like going through that metal detector again, I might take a little walk downtown in about 10 hours, & prove to myself whether or not they're still on that desk.... Whether the answer is "Yes" or "No", at least then, I would know.

But the thing is this: Often, I live my life watching TV, equal parts "reality" & "scripted". ("Psych" series finale & live "After-Pshow" yesterday... "Inside The Actors Studio", "Suits", & "Money Talks" tonight.) Often, I will buy food (like the 2 boxes of pizza rolls yesterday) based on what I plan to watch while I eat them. Regardless, I count those shows often as much as I do Laker games when it comes to having something to look forward to. "Having something to look forward to" has been a major thing for me ever since I was diagnosed as any type of Diabetic (though I denied it soon after, & will literally until the second I die). Ironically, right this second, that may have an effect on when that second happens to be.

See, the first person ever named as my legal guardian told me 1-on-1 himself he believed when I got that aforementioned paperwork to that aforementioned person at the Courts, he bet they'd have a hearing, & "probably" terminate the guardianship. If & (I'm betting) when they do that, I will put it all over Twitter, my blogs, & half-a-dozen message boards when & where the party is. Considering I've never dated anyone, & don't plan on college, marriage, or kids, that may be the top moment of my adult life! But right now, I've said & done everything I was told to. I have a semi-confirmed decent idea what the results of that hearing will be, & a real-good idea what I'll wear & say there. The one bit of info that eludes me is when it will be. That is not for me to decide, & nothing I'm aware of I say or do will change whatever day or time it is set for, nor when that day/time is set. Until then, there's not a darn thing I can do, nor do I see a real reason for doing anything.

I've been "living improv" for over a decade. Even so, I have much of my autobiography saved on this computer. (Opening a Microsoft Word document with Wordpad gets a bunch of extra spaces, symbols, & stuff in a bunch of places in it.) I also printed-out some plans for my funeral I-don't-know-how-long ago, including what I should wear (clothes from high school still fit me, if they aren't too big on me now; Suspect I've lost weight!). Good thing, as this may be the last blog I post.

Thank you to all readers (if in fact this one has had any), & Goodbye.

Gilligan's Cage

While I do believe I'm genetically Irish on both sides (surely on Mom's, have never been sure about Dad's), that title is not meant to be any kind of curve on the song title, "Finnegan's Wake", though the mere thought of the song plays the title in my head in my Uncle Bill's voice. (Easy explanation: Here's a YouTube video of him playing it with a band at a place within walking distance of where I live. My Uncle's not listed as a member on the group's main site, but he was one for a large majority of my life.) Anyhow, I've never been much of a guy for St. Patrick's Day, which is to say this blog's title refers to an actual cage used a few times on "Gilligan's Island".

I've tried hard to keep my age out of these blogs, but suffice it to say I wasn't alive in the '60s. That said, I've told people many times I couldn't have lived back then. That has nothing to do with the drugs, JFK, or any of that; I read in a book a while back that "The Monkees" aired at the same exact time as "Gilligan's Island". I used to watch the American Fab Four on TV every weekend to the point my decades-younger nephew became a fan, but haven't found it airing in a while. Meanwhile, TVLand has been airing "Gilligan" seemingly forever on recent weeknights. This leads me to keep watching for a few of my favorite episodes. (One recent watch was "Don't Bug The Mosquitoes", a classic in my opinion.)

Anyway, a YouTube search now is showing me nothing... Suffice it to say that on a few different episodes, some/all of the regular cast(aways; see what I did there?!) got caught by the weekly visitor (like it was a Caribbean tourist spot or something!), who put them in some sort of prison that was really something made to look like bamboo, 90% of which was actually empty space.

Anyway (promise I'll get back to it), I've recently been thinking about my own legal history, & remember the first PG-13 movie I saw in theaters (waiting for the day I have to explain the meaning of that word to my younger relatives) was when I was 12. It was Jim Carrey's star-maker, "The Mask". One of my favorite parts to this day is when he is trying to get the dog to help him while he is imprisoned. (I'm about 50/50 with YouTube today.) The reason I am thinking about that scene with this blog is (as far as I understand/recall it) it was never much when the Gilligan folks were captured for an episode, but "Stanley"/Jim was supposed to be in an actual prison by the lead policeman (who I recall better now from an episode of "Leverage"). What gets me is that I think it would be worse to be in the Gilligan jail! You can barely see Jim's arms & eyes, & he can barely see the dog or the alley it's in... Whereas the castaways can see much of the island they've inhabited a while, but not touch much of it at all! I think that violates the Eighth Amendment! (That was around before "Gilligan"; Right?!)

Well, I didn't read any of my old blogs to myself before starting this one (I usually do), but suffice it to say the "guardianship" (the legal-jargon word for it) is OVER... "If you wanna get tech'." (That's when I switch from their words & phrases to mine.) The "general doctor" I've seen a few years agreed with Mom & I this morning that the whole thing doesn't need to continue anymore. When I got home, I called my sister (& the younger of my 2 nephews) with the news. She suggested I call the guardian & talk to him about it. I did so, & he told me I should drop the papers my doc filled-out & signed at the court(house). When I do that, he told me, they'll file them & have a hearing before they "will probably end the guardianship".

Most people who "follow" me on Twitter & things are probably waiting for me to post the date of the party, but I ain't gonna do that. Not that I don't like to celebrate these things (much as a person believed to be Diabetic can), but I refuse to do so until this whole thing is actually, completely finished.

Catch me up here: A doctor I've never honestly met filled-out an "expert evaluation" on me that led to me "getting" this guardian. A doctor I've seen regularly for years filled-out the same papers, this time saying it should be "terminated"... Yet I have to wait an unknown amount of time for that to happen?!

I considered going to the local bookstore today & buying a book I saw listed with a VERY-low price on their Website. I may not do that now, though; I'd be well within sight of the bank I've gone to for years, the same place they destroyed my last debit card & may be waiting for April's checks that may still come with my guardian's name printed on them.

Flattened By The Irony

I apologize at the start of this one if you've been waiting for a follow-up on my last blog. (Of course, if you do the math, you know my meeting about ending the whole spiel hasn't happened yet.) I also apologize if you follow my Twitter feed, as it must feel like that old cartoon thing I remember from "Sesame Street" where the detective dude was following a long-repeating stretch of "line... dot... line... dot," & all that. [I looked for it on YouTube, & only got a REAL-old video by Chuck Jones; I love Looney Tunes as much as the next guy (maybe more), but it's not what I'm looking for.  This leads me to wonder if they still showed it on the program as my nephew was growing-up... May E-mail sister later.]

Anyhow, let me settle things a bit for all of you: I have said even less on Twitter (that would interest most people), & as I said, all appointments & meetings are still upcoming. What have I been doing to kill that time? A lot of reading & watching TV. (Mainly Kristen Bell interviews, even though things mentioned in the last blog blocked me from taking part in that Kickstarter deal for the movie, which it appears isn't playing anywhere near here anyway.)

Anyhow, regardless of if you've read anything I've written or not, one thing that has NOT changed (& may never) is I'm still addicted to TV, though I lately notice myself moving less to "reality" shows & more toward the scripted variety (though I still set timers for "WWE Raw", as well as "Amazing Race" & the current deal on "Cosmos"). The reason I mention this is due to a show I watched last night: "Suits".

If you've never seen this show before, find a way to get caught-up. It is not, as I (seriously) originally thought, an hour-long commercial for Men's Wearhouse; It is a show about a law firm (or maybe a group of them; Lawyers working elsewhere seem to show-up at least once a month). Last night, that meant I took a break from my CBS-watching ("Big Bang" & "Elementary" are near-staples) to watch the episode called, "Yesterday's Gone".

If you click on any of those last three words, each will take you to a different place about this specific episode: The IMDB page, a few "preview" clips, & an after-airing review. What you will not see (I Googled, but again came-up empty) is what I am dying to find: Some sort of script... Why? I'll tell you. (Forget reading further if you didn't read the previous blog.)

As I said in my previous blog, I am trying to change a situation in my life that involves a crapload.... Literally, a load of utter crap/trash being spouted by people who spend their professional lives as doctors, lawyers, & perhaps even a judge. (Literally a constant debate in my head of how big a role he plays in this; I maintain my respect for him, thinking he is doing the right thing based on things he hears/reads from the others he honestly believes to be true that I & the aforementioned "others" know is not.)

Anyhow, on last night's episode, one of the key characters (who is living with a lie told very early in the show's run) was dealing with his lie being found-out while also trying to work a case. One of the "name partners" of the main firm (I believe so-called because her surname is part of the name of the firm) was called to testify on the stand for a case she was personally involved in. In both cases (or "situations"; Pick a word, like a card game), they said things (I know this because my ears suck, & this PC is the only place I don't use a hearing aid &/or captions) about things being about the truth & not the law.

The second the episode was over, it was almost time for me to take my nightly pills & Lantus insulin shot. [One place my personal deal/case gets "hinky" (to quote actor Gary Grubbs on an oft-seen episode of "Will & Grace", ironically a show involving a ton of fictional law-practicing) is one reason I got the guardian (or so I hear) was my refusal I have Diabetes. I continue to refuse over a Decade After Diagnosis (DAD), but also continue to check my blood-sugar & take/accept insulin quite-regularly.] But first, I stopped to tell Mom (already in her bed) how much I wished I could find a way to send that episode to all the doctors, lawyers, & other so-called "professionals" involved in my case, who I've noticed (I wrote about this in the last blog) will neither confirm nor deny their own lying as it pertains to me.

Anyhow, I know I already covered in this blog that I've spent a lot of the recent time watching TV... Not gonna lie about that. But in actuality, I am simultaneously doing that while 1] counting & 2] thinking...

1] I am counting the amount of time I have left until the appointment with my longtime "general doc". (I call him that instead of my "family doctor", the way some of my other doctors refer to him. My immediate family all sees different people, but he's the guy I go to for the basics: Flu shot, etc.) He is the one (as I believe I covered last blog) that I am told will/should fill-out the new evaluation to ("potentially", it is said, the way the Mayans probably talked about the end of the world 15 months ago, except I believe this one will happen) end the guardianship.

2] I have been thinking about what the doctor will say aloud to me &/or in writing for the evaluation. I have no clue, & care almost as little; What I am near-constantly thinking about is if it will matter at all. As I said last blog, before this situation, I thought courts (or at least judges & the others in the courtrooms) acted based on what was true &/or could be proven. However, I now tell my mother nightly that I honestly believe "Dr. Raja" (the Dr. that filled-out the original evaluation starting me on the path to getting a guardian), my "general doc" (who I have seen since long before the guardianship deal ever began), President Obama (who I have voted for twice, on a side-note), & God himself (or Mohammed/Buddha; Again, pick one) could all walk into that courtroom simultaneously, say individually in that order that I don't need a guardian anymore (& in the first case, admit I never did), & I'll still have one next Fall.

"March Goes In Like A Lion, & Comes Out..." On Its Own -- The Story Of My Lost Time

Hey, everyone. If you follow my Twitter feed (I assume most people do both or neither), you know I've said maybe one-thing-a-day lately. Allow me to explain that with this special, blog-only post.
There are really two reasons, & they both go back to this blog I posted about 6 weeks ago. One thing is when I left what was then known as "the Renaissance" (ironically, Ma says it has a new name now), my cell-phone battery was entirely dead, so my phone needed replacing. (I replaced it quickly, this time leaving the "predictive text" option on for writing text messages. However, it has bounced off-&-on a few times since then, the cause of it returning often being my sister, who I rarely see, & who is quite busy with her own 3 kids, all of whom are aged in the single digits.) I did a lot of my "Tweeting" before via my phone, so I haven't done it as much in the New Year. (Often, what I say is a quick idea or question, not worth the time it'd take to type finding/choosing each letter individually.)
The other reason (as I explained on my feed last night) is that I have been attempting to make a change (or two...; Not sure what the number would be really, "if you wanna get tech'") in my offline life. For me, that takes precedence, because if I don't have one offline, there's nobody to write my Twitter feed, & nothing to write it about anyway.
The rest of this blog will be about those changes. ("You've been warned...")
Rereading it to myself just now, I realize I wrote a lot in the earlier blog (linked-to in this one) about my time in Trumbull Memorial Hospital & the Renaissance. What I didn't mention, it appears, are the other 2 big changes that happened over that time. One is that on one of the days I was in therapy, I was taken by some special transportation group to a new/different endocrinologist. (Not in the mood to "get tech'"?! A doc to treat my long-believed-except-by-me Diabetes.) I had no problem with this, as it was much closer than my then-current endocrinologist, who was quite-literally across state lines.
The other big change I didn't mention happened while I was still in the Hospital, or so it seems from papers I read about 15 hours ago. A person called, "Dr. Raja" (that remains the name used by most hospital staffers as of this/Thursday morning; I'd type his surname, but you'd be sure I simply dropped my head on my keyboard) filled-out what is referred to around here as an "expert evaluation". (The paper refers to itself as an "expert evaluation of..."; I admit you lose me after that, as I know what it is, so I'm too mad at the whole situation to read any more of it.)
Long story short, the paper asks the doctor a bunch of questions, each ending with a line for him to fill-in his answers. Man, I wish I could photocopy it or something & put it on this blog! Regardless, just know it's what I frankly refer to as "a bunch of hooey". He is first asked his "name & title", written in the same illegible "chicken-scratch" 80% of my doctors have used. Other questions include how long I've been his patient, etc., which I can read well enough to tell you he flat-out lied. (125% honest: When he answered the call at about 10 AM today, I started by saying, "I don't know when, if ever, we've met before," & he said absolutely nothing to that!!!) This led to someone scheduling a hearing for a few weeks later.
Apparently, attorneys & courts take a few days & every afternoon of the week off, as they scheduled it super-early in the morning. At the time, I was having some weird insomnia deal, so I didn't get to sleep until 4-or-so that morning, & slept past the hearing. Next thing I know, I have a local guy as my "guardian", & I am his "ward". (Trust me; He'd be a worse Batman than Kilmer, Clooney, or even Affleck.)
The upside was I still got to live with my Mom in the same apartments I'd lived in for years. The downside was I can't spend a single cent without him &/or the courts OKing it. (125% honest again: I've had Lunch at 3 different fast-food places this week, ordered what I wanted, & paid with cash from my wallet each time. However, I could have done none of that without first cashing the checks I get in the mail from his office each month. [Want More of the Mess?! All the checks he-or-someone-in-his-office writes come in an envelope addressed (by typewriter or another machine) to Mom, though we live in the same exact place, & every cent is from an account that is not-at-all connected to Mom's name. The check for groceries, as well as the one for $ I spend if I wanna see the new Costner flick or buy The Rock's last movie on DVD?! Both are written out to "Cash" as opposed to my name (which is located right above his on each check), & even the "Memo" line is about "Ward's Groceries" or "Ward's Use"... My name only gets on that check again when I sign them. On top of all that, the rent check is written specifically to Mom. The cable-bill-paying check is written to the cable company, but the court never OKed the new amount when Time Warner raised the cost, so I end-up giving them some of that "grocery" money after I give them the check written to the company!... In the words of Bill Engvall, "You cannot make this stuff up!"]...
...Oh, I re-read this to myself partway (a few times, really), & realized I forgot to put something important in the spending-money part of this: Mere weeks after I got out of "the R", I found my debit card wouldn't work at the local bank's ATM machine. My Mom (a former employee for the same bank-company) & I took it inside, & explained it. They said something I don't recall now, but know included the word "guardian". They then proceeded to literally cut the card up with HUGE scissors in front of our faces. On top of that, I now tell people honestly that "without this (guardian) deal, the courts wouldn't know I existed" & that "I love watching 'Person of Interest', but have never been one". Despite all that, I literally can't tell you the last time I was able to buy anything online, even from well-known-&-respected retailers like Amazon & EBay. (I still get semi-regular E-mails from EBay about what my "favorite sellers" are selling, & weekly E-mails from Ticketmaster about events that have tickets going on-sale, but am currently telling my Dad I have no clue how we'll get tickets for the WWE event in June!!!)
Anyhow, in the New Year, aside from avoiding any "resolutions", I decided on a few things I wanted to change about my life. (One reason I'm not calling them "resolutions" is that, like this one, I have to put things in action, but a lot of it will/will-not happen because of what people other than me do/say.) One of the first things I wanted to change is getting rid of this "guardian"; I never saw a need for him, deny all the reasons I've been given for anyone ever deciding I needed one, & actually believe my "legal guardian" to be on a different side of the law with some of his actions. (125% honest yet again: He's also an attorney, with his last name on the business card, & as the first one said by whoever answers the phone when you call the office.)
I called the Probate Court to see how to end it, since they were the only place I ever went to discuss things with anyone other than my guardian himself. (I'm literally begging you to take that link; On the page it leads to is the name & phone number of the judge that finalized my guardian; Buy a phone card at Target or something, & call him without reason every hour for a day/week/something... I'm serious; Last I checked, courts were largely about being fair & getting justice, so it's only fair/just he get a few hours wasted the same way he's wasted countless days & weeks of my time.)
The lady I spoke to there said I needed the same doctor that filled-out the first evaluation to fill-out another, saying the opposite of what he'd said the first time. (In this case, he'd be telling the truth this time, which before all this crap, I thought was important to courts & law officials!) I called the number next to his name, which connected me to the hospital, who told me he was unavailable, but would be "on call" today (Thursday).
I called about 10 this morning & had him paged (as they'd instructed). He told me he only saw people "in the hospital" or "in emergencies". (He said both during our conversation, never even approaching claiming he'd ever seen my name or face, even in the newspaper!!) He then told me "whatever doctor you're seeing now" could fill-out the new evaluation.
I called the Probate Court again. (Don't waste time; Start dialing that number as you read this last paragraph!!) They went further, saying "any doctor you want" could fill it out. Deciding to be sure & be straight/honest with them (despite the way they had not done so with me), I called the doctor I've been seeing the past several years. I now have an appointment in darn-close 2 weeks, when it's noted we'll be discussing the ("potential", according to his nurse) end of this "guardianship".

Raising My Spirits Up From "Down Under"

If you're visiting this blog for the first time, do me a favor first, & simply scan a few of the previous posts. If you do (or you've read them before), one thing should be painfully obvious: I've got problems. I'm not just referring to the ones I have working the apartment's intercom-buzzer system to let my Dad in each week, or the ones I have crossing the roadways in my incredibly-comfortable boots (I heard once that pedestrians had the right of way, but it seems local merchants prefer to shovel snow from their parking lots right onto the sidewalks)... I'm talking about real physical problems.

Frankly, that's one reason so many of my individual blogs over the past decade-or-so have started with a "Note" or "Disclaimer"; I figure everyone has some problems, & they don't visit sites to read someone else list or complain about theirs. What really gets me is one of the ways I relax is watching reality TV (I already have a timer set on the cable for "Amazing Race" tomorrow)... I saw one such show this past week where one of the "Rich Kids of Beverly Hills" was complaining about her friends getting busy with their new jobs, & she was discussing with people the option of making money herself through her blog. (If you take that link, it will take you to her blog; I only recalled the address because I had the captions on while watching the show, & was sure they'd spelled one of the words wrong; It's one of my problems related to my hearing, which is an admitted one of my physical problems... I am sure to watch a few episodes of "Leverage" tomorrow, & see a few dozen apostrophes in words like "its" that don't need one in that particular present usage.)

Anyhow, one thing you may have read about in my previous blogs is what many refer to as "cabin fever". I don't recall ever calling it that myself, & in fact, discussed my lack of usage of that term with my podiatrist less than a month ago. (His office told me they wanted me to order a new pair of shoes, & will expect me to do so at least once a year. I'm very happy with the ones I chose, but living in NE Ohio, am not exactly counting the days until I'll be able to use them outside.) It was while taking a trip recently to the Mall (maybe buying some "take-home food", AKA "groceries",) I thought about the subject of this blog...

"They still don't get it that it's not an easy job to be the one who says, 'Yes' when the whole world only says, 'No'."

The vast majority of you who have not already Googled that quote are probably expecting it came from Lincoln or one of the other Presidents that has their day in the just-ended month. (Which are we supposed to celebrate then, anyway?! Long told I'm a descendant of "local boy made good" McKinley, I spend most of that day recalling all of them I can minus Nixon, & wondering why I'm still expected to call Clinton or either Bush "Mr. President" the same way I would Obama.) You would be wrong. Those are not even the words of an American at all!

Those are the words said (or rather sung) by Australia native Ben Lee. Don't be surprised if you've never heard that name; I may never have either if not for a show called, "Hidden Palms". (I had that name wrong myself until I Googled what I thought it was called along with the song of Ben's I was sure I heard on it.) IMDB tells me the most-prominent stars only appeared in 1 season, which itself lasted less than 3 months; Not exactly "Seinfeld"-size fandom! However, it was created (the site says) by Kevin Williamson, creator of the "Scream" film series, as well as the TV series-es "Dawson's Creek", "The Vampire Diaries", & "The Following". Also, appearances in all episodes were logged by Amber Heard, now known from several films, if not for her connection to costar-turned-fiancee Johnny Depp... So you understand if they've been a bit busy to film the reunion special!

Anyhow, one of the non-physical problems I've blogged a bunch about is my computer being down. (That is, the one I used to have. Before Martin Luther King Day of this year, I had been doing my E-mailing & blogging from my Mom's appliance. Less than a month later, I was informed my new one was full of viruses; One of my more-common complaints now is of the Geek Squad, my "legal guardian", Mom, & others creating things in others' lives they know will be problematic so you need them to solve stuff for you.)

Anyhow, on any computer. you can type all you want, but you can't access the music & things you once had. For that reason, I had been spending my Mall trips listening to the same 60+ songs for quite some time.... Or should I have typed, "song"?! I must confess 90% of the time that I used the MP3-player, I was listening to the song "Yoko Ono" by Ben. (Not one I believe I've ever heard on TV.) Due to similar problems, I had improvised my last creation of a "playlist" on my player, relying largely on artists I liked, but songs I either knew nothing about, or felt had interesting titles.

(If you need proof, here are my actual "tweets" from one day I hung around the Mall last July: Singing Ben Lee's "Yoko Ono" while walking around in my shirt from The Monkees' 1997 tour; I DARE someone to ask me what I think about John Lennon! To say NOTHING of his Uncle Vladimir!!!)

As I alluded to, I spent about 1 of the past 2 months with a working PC in my room, & am ready sometime soon to change the "playlist" with other music I used to have, & things I've downloaded since then. However, that is my future, not my past, so a week or two ago, I was still walking down that same hallway between the Gymboree & the jewelry store (neither of which I've ever gone in, & no plans to change that), listening to Ben sing about Yoko. (I seriously just checked IMDB to see if she was born in this country or not.) I've mouthed the words along with that song more times than I care to count. (I sang solos when I was younger in a church where Mom does so now, & sang in the choirs at church & school after being cast in a "Summer Stock" musical, but nobody is hearing this voice for free outside of this apartment now.)

Suddenly, (some would say) "like something out of a dream" (mine largely involve dying or people in chicken suits), I heard the above-boldfaced lyric repeating in my head. I then found myself dying to figure out how to rewind the song on my player only a few seconds, so I could hear the words again. (I never did figure it out, resigning myself to the fact that if I had, I would've done it repeatedly, & my player's low on battery power anyway.)

A few afternoons later, I was sitting at the computer, visiting Websites while waiting for downloads to finish (much the way I am right now). I opened my Windows Media Player, & started searching my old music library for songs I might like to listen to. I found a song by Ben called, "Running With Scissors". Recalling this myself as an album by ("Weird") Al Yankovic, I wondered if perhaps Ben's song was a cover or a song about Al. I listened to it (recommend you find a way to do the same), & from the opening drumbeat-like sounds, followed by a guitar hook Louie Shelton would've never attempted (Take the link if you must!), I was into it in a major way.

Suddenly, the chorus hit, & I was out, especially that line about, "You can't hear the song until you dance". After all, I'm the guy who went to my first Gin Blossoms performance, & soon wrote a piece called "White Man's Burden" about how white guys can't dance (I don't try jumping thanks to Woody Harrelson & Wesley Snipes, or dodging taxes), play sports, or do a few other things. (Like have a month where TV stations & shows celebrate our race, unlike some I know.)

However, then came the bridge, which my sister & I have long agreed is the best part of most songs. (Blame it on Billy Joel.) "So don't ask me for a reason; Don't look at me for a reason; Don't look for me cause I'm runnin' too fast". I admit that I was probably the slowest kid in my graduating class going back all the way to when I attended the elementary school down the street from where I live tonight. Also, I don't do all that much running anymore, unless I'm heading from the Mall to: Wendy's, Best Buy,  or the movie-theater, & an approaching motorist gives me the go-ahead wave. (I have a longstanding rule: "If you don't waste my time, I won't waste yours," & that's true for far more than cars on my "walking trips".) However, much the way I doubt Ben or Steven Page (until recently of Barenaked Ladies, & the lead singer on "Be My Yoko Ono," long before he left & they moved on to "The Big Bang Theory" theme song) may have ever met Yoko, I assumed this was more of a writer doing so metaphorically. As a guy who constantly professes to "live Improv", I was DEFINITELY right back in!

I may-or-may-not do an all-Ben-Lee "playlist" for my MP3-player next week (also, maybe "all Bens", adding his group with Kweller & Folds, along with Ben Gibbard, leader of Death Cab For Cutie & the Postal Service)... Either way, I thank the Aussies for cheering me up, & apologize if my Steve Irwin impression has added a bit of Southern into the accent in recent years.

NOTE: I feel this blog would be incomplete without mentioning that I've never left the continent myself. Also, I own & enjoy many CDs by the co-writer of "Down Under", Colin Hay... I became a fan of his largely due to Zach Braff. This is somewhat ironic, considering Zach is probably celebrated in his home state of New Jersey, where his first major film ("Garden State") is set. I own the DVD & soundtrack to that one, & have pictures of myself standing in front of the now-gone building in Jersey one of my favorite bands is named after (they are also on my MP3-player right now), but don't consider myself to enjoy it as much as I suspect I might Australia... I suppose that is largely because I've actually spent time in one & not the other.