So, here we are... We've officially reached what everyone around me seems to designate "the holiday season". Ads all over the paper & TV for their gift-&-related sales, trees that have lost their leaves but are covered in lights & plastic balls, many of the people I E-mail or contact on Twitter sending me actual, hold-able cards via "snail mail"... And all that...
I almost typed "all that good stuff". To be honest, though, it's not really all that good for me. Not only did I take a Latin class over a decade ago, which ruined the idea of celebrating it in Winter for me (much the way Emmy-winner Jim Parsons does here),... But I happen to be one of those people who has a birthday in-between Thanksgiving & Christmas. (Not saying I rank anywhere near deities on any list made by anyone, but my birthday & the holiday each bring-about the idea of gift-giving; For years, my Aunt would ask weeks beforehand what I wanted for Christmas, & my stock answer was some version of "Whatever I don't get for my birthday.")
Subtract my birthday & all holidays from the remainder of this year's calendar, though. (It only exists metaphorically for me anyway, outside of me keeping my appointment cards on a counter in chronological order, including those for 2014.) In the next 24 hours, I will have either my 3rd nephew or my first niece somewhere in the county. (I don't know why I chose to write it that way; They will be born in the same hospital as my sister, 2 nephews, & Grammy-winner Dave Grohl, but not in the city I live in now.) As I said to Mom about an hour ago, I believe my younger nephew to have a closer connection to me than his older brother did at the same exact age, which can only bode well for the yet-to-come child... So why was I sitting in the adjoining room last night, debating if I wanted to live even 1 more day?!
I think I covered this all before, even just on this site. However, in case I haven't, let's cover it all (perhaps again). It comes down not to anything I've done, but to what I haven't done: I am a legal adult in any "state of the Union", as well as a legal citizen of the same county & state I write this blog in. [Unlike Bret Hart & his niece, both of whom I watched on TV last night, I've never done a legal "job" in my life (nor the illegal type as seen on "Leverage"). However, I was naturally born in this county in every sense of the word/phrase.] Outside of perhaps jaywalking down a nearby street (often right past police cars), I have never committed a crime, or been any type of suspect. I have spoken right out loud several times the idea of running for local or national office, & have yet to rule it out. Even so, I sit within eyes' view of several pieces of proof that other adults (ironically, those with jobs as attorneys, judges, & others in the legal "realm") have more control over several key parts of my life than I do. It's only been that way for about a year; However, that's at least 10 months longer than it should have been.
In truth, this all starts back about a dozen years ago. Around the middle of the actual year 2001 (perhaps I should blame Kubrick?!), I was diagnosed with a disease I still refuse to say I have. As it was far-more-recently explained to me (about a week ago), the reason these other people have control over key aspects of my life is because I "refuse to admit" I have it. On the contrary, I admit to any who ask (& some who don't) I have not spent a single second in a college class or law school, & therefore get my entire legal knowledge from watching court-related shows. (Today was the first in a long time, but one of literally thousands, of days I had Breakfast while watching "Judge Mathis".) However, I was (until this case/situation) cognizant/aware of the fact I still find myself relying on that courts rely on evidence in the vast majority of cases, & that the "burden of proof" &/or need to prove things relies on the one claiming it is/they are so. There is not a person in any US State or territory that has ever seen proof I have this not-named-here disease, which is one reason I claim that even if I wanted to, it'd be impossible to "admit" I have it.
It seems to me that this is just a situation of some sort of a "train of thought" being (let's kill a metaphor) thrown into "Reverse"... I've long seen/read/heard, "Be careful what you wish for; You just might get it". Here, I was not wishing for anything; Simply relying on something I'd long been told was true, but never needed to find out if it truly was or not. When I actually find a situation where it would benefit me, it turns out not to be true at all.
Reading the clock on/at the corner of the screen, I see it is a time when many things/offices/companies in this county are probably closed. However, I got the phone number of the local court that handles my case/situation off of its Website last night (which also had a picture of the same judge that signed the paperwork pertaining to my case/situation), so I may still call them before my next birthday, & see if I can't change something besides my age, clothes, & the length of my hair before the year's out.
No comments:
Post a Comment